Diffusing the tension
by MySisterIsASlytherin
Summary: The trio come back after the war to finish their studies. To cheer everyone up, Neville proposes a prank war. Dramione, with slight Hermione/Ginny friendship. Rated T to be safe. Slight AU, Dumbledore is still alive.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Harry was, he supposed, glad to be back at Hogwarts. It had taken some cajoling on Hermione's part to get him to go - he had just wanted to rest after a tough 7th year that had included, he had pointed out, defeating Voldemort. But Hermione had insisted that he couldn't live off his fame forever, so he agreed to finish his studies. Ron was back as well, but Harry suspected that was only because Hermione was there. Their relationship had grown even stronger over the summer, with Ron needing comfort after the loss of Fred, and Hermione being the most unconditionally understanding of his friends.

Other than the three of them, most of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw had come back, but only about half of Slytherin. Many of them were in hiding due to their parents' role in the war, or just fearing retribution for being friends of Death Eater children and sometimes just for being Slytherins. Given that people were still jumpy because of the emotional shock of the whole mess, blame was dealt pretty liberally. In these troubled times, the last thing you would expect to hear would be what happened next.

"Attention, please!" Heads turned, looking for the speaker. It was, to everyone's surprise, Neville. "Voldemort, as you know, is gone, and credit to that goes to our own Harry Potter!" He paused for a moment to let the cheers die down before continuing. "Yes, yes, it's all very happy. But, it comes at a huge price. I know that many of you lost friends and family in the war, and need a little comfort. So, I propose the first ever Hogwarts Prank War." There was a sudden roar of agreement and laughter, which turned to murmurs of plotting for what promised to be a year of hilarious fun. It seemed to be exactly what they all needed, and Harry was impressed with Neville for coming up with the idea.

"This is brilliant" Ron was saying. "Too bad Malfoy isn't here. I would have loved to get him." He smiled, relishing the idea.

"No, but that horrible Pansy is," said Hermione, shuddering. "I'm surprised she's not staying with Malfoy to give him support during the trial." Malfoy's parents had been arrested over the summer for their direct involvement with Voldemort. Both parents faced heavy sentences in Azkaban, and Draco, being barely of age, only risked having his wand confiscated.

"So who should we target, anyway?" Ron asked. "I say we get whatever Slytherins are left." Harry nodded.

"Speaking of the Slytherins, though, something's up with Blaise," he said, pointing over at the House table in question. Blaise was looking right at them, muttering something under his breath and moving his wand in complicated circles.

"What do you suppose he's doing?" Ron asked, but the others heard "Je t'aime."

"I didn't know you spoke French, Ron." Hermione said, impressed but slightly confused. Harry and Ron stared at her. To them, it sounded like she had just called herself a buck-toothed prat.

"Hermione, do you know you just called yourself a buck-toothed prat?" Harry asked, and the others stared at him, unable to place what language he was speaking

"Um, Harry? What does 'Mi estas stulta kaj malmodesta' mean?" Ron asked, but all they heard was his profession of love to Harry again.

"Um, guys? What's going on?" Ginny asked tentatively, unsure if she was interrupting something. "Hermione, I really hope you don't know what you're saying. Ron, what's up with the French 'I love you' thing? And Harry, I have no idea what you're saying, but it's probably not good." Harry, Ron, and Hermione blushed, looked ready to kill someone, and looked bewildered, depending on what Ginny had just told them. "Come on. Lets get you to the hospital wing," Ginny said. Ready to get this fixed all three of them agreed, but silently so as to avoid having to say their respective strange things again.

Madame Pomfrey looked up, surprised, as Ginny led Harry, Ron, and Hermione in.

"Goodness, the feast isn't even over yet! This must be a record," she exclaimed. "But what's wrong with you?" she asked, not seeing anything physically the matter.

"They were talking about stuff," Ginny explained, "and then they started saying odd things."

"I think one of the Slytherins hit us with a repeated phrase spell," Hermione explained, and the others cringed as she once again called herself a buck-toothed prat.

"Yeah, I think it was Blaise," Harry continued automatically, forgetting that he was now speaking an unrecognizable language and saying God knew what.

"It's all Neville's fault, though. He came up with the idea," Ron said, and Madame Pomfrey cringed as he unwittingly told her he was in love with her.

"Must be a repeated phrase spell," she told them. "Only a little more complicated, because you don't know what you're saying, and two of you aren't speaking English. Now stay here while I look for the cure, and _don't talk. _The more you talk, the less effective the counterspell will be. " She left the room, leaving the four of them sitting on a bed.

"It was a good idea," Ginny said. "But I have a feeling we'll be coming back here a lot this year." The other three agreed silently, for they had the dubious honor of being the first victims of the Prank War.

**A/N: What do you think? Leave a review! Credit for the idea of repeated-phrase spells goes of course to CrazyGirl47 and her wonderful story The Prank War.   
**


	2. Feelings

**A/N: I have absolutely no idea how this morphed into a way darker chapter than I had been planning on, but it has. I know that this was supposed to be about people getting over their grief by laughing through the year, but sometimes people just need a good cry about things, and this feels more natural. I'm sorry if this chapter disappoints some of you, who might have been expecting more pranks, but this chapter isn't really about that. Those will be in chapter two. I promise. Okay… Really long author's note. Sorry. Here's the chapter…**

**Chapter One: Feelings**

Hermione was incredibly relieved to be let out the following morning. It meant that she could go vent with Ginny, (who had been kicked out of the hospital wing around midnight,) her only trusted confidant for all her feelings. The younger witch had been there for her all summer, had listened to her cry over all the loss of the war, her ordeal at Malfoy Manor, and Ron seeming uninterested in her. Their friendship, probably the closest in the school, had only grown stronger over the last three months.

Ginny had also apparently been anxious to talk, for she was already waiting for Hermione, who stepped into the dormitory a bit dejectedly.

"Hi," Ginny said, smiling wearily up at her, and receiving a similar expression from Hermione. "You okay?" She asked.

"Fine," Hermione wanted desperately to say. But she couldn't, because she wasn't. She was far from fine, in fact. Instead she collapsed next to Ginny and started crying about everything that had happened recently: Dobby dying, Fred dying, being tortured by Bellatrix and almost dying herself, almost losing Harry, being pranked within two hours of coming back to Hogwarts... Ginny sat there patiently and listened to it all. It wasn't the first time a scene like this had happened; in fact similar things had taken place almost every day that summer. Sometimes Ginny would add in some of her frustrations, other times she would just listen. When Hermione stopped crying, she hugged Ginny for a few minutes, and Ginny handed her a Kleenex.

"It'll be fine," Ginny reassured her. "They don't win until you give up. Malfoy's lot, I mean."

"What about Ron, though?" Hermione asked, not feeling much better.

Ginny fixed her with one of her famous looks that told you she was about to be surprisingly bold for her size and responded firmly, ""I have a plan." She told Hermione what it was. Hermione didn't say anything for a while, and thought about it. It was shockingly novel and bizarre, but also incredibly daring and smart. She opened her mouth to say something, but then was hit with the full force of how _fun _it could also be, and closed it again, only to burst out laughing a second later. She laughed so hard she rolled right off the bed and landed not so gently on the less-than-soft floor, and didn't even notice. She carried on like this for a while, and when she had recovered enough to speak, whispered "that is brilliant. When can we start?"

"I think we already have," said Ginny slyly, winking at her.

The plan worked marvelously from the very start. The two girls skipped down into the common room, where Ron and Harry were relaxing. They had a free hour in the morning, during Defense Against the Dark Arts. Considering the role the four of them had played in the last battle, everybody agreed that they didn't need that class anymore. The boys looked up with they entered, and were speechless to see them hand-in-hand, dressed in the most daring things they owned. Ron was especially shocked.

"Uh... Wh- Ginny? What is this?" He choked out.

"What is what?" She asked defiantly.

"Well... that- The... thing you're ... well..." He pointed vaguely at the pair of them.

"What is he talking about, Gin?" Hermione asked.

"No idea. Come on, ignore them. Don't you have Arithmancy next?"

"Yes. I should definitely do that. Will you quiz me?" Ginny nodded and they went off to a table decently far from the boys, but still in their line of sight.

Hermione did _not _actually have Arithmancy next. Pretending to read through her notes, she whispered to Ginny.

"It's working!" She said.

"Definitely. Did you see his face? He couldn't believe it. Quick, they're looking at us! Do something sexy."

Hermione winked obviously at her. "I still don't get it, though," she said, raising her voice so that Harry and Ron would hear. "Come over here and work me through it." As Ginny came over, she made a point of pretending to check her out.

_She's not that bad, actually, _she found herself thinking. Then, horrified, she silently admonished herself. _No! You are not going to fall in love with Ginny pretending to fall in love with Ginny. _

_Why not? _Asked her other half.

_Because it's not right._

_None of this is right. _

_Yeah, but Ron..._

_He thinks it's true anyway!_

_But Harry, then?_

_He can have Cho._

Though pretending to be with Ginny was rather amusing, the ease with which the necessary words and actions came worried Hermione. What if she _was _lesbian? What would that mean for the four of them? Harry and Ginny would understand, but she worried about Ron's reaction to the news.

"Wait…" she imagined him saying, a terrible look of comprehension dawning on his face, then turning to disgust, "You were going out with me, but now you think you're lesbian, so you want to go out with my sister?" _Was _that what she wanted? It sounded rather silly to phrase it that way, but that was basically the truth… She felt bad about it, but she didn't know what to do: try not to hurt Ron's feelings, and so give up Ginny, or choose Ginny and risk destroying her relationship with Ron? Either way, it would completely change their dynamics as a group of friends.

Having managed to escape to bed early, she sat alone with these and other, darker, thoughts.


	3. Progress update

**Update: I hope to have a new chapter up here in the next month. if not, I sincerely apologize for the false hope and will simply update ASAP. Now back to your regularly scheduled reading.**


End file.
